A question I often hear is whether it’s “okay” to let a dog sleep in bed with you. The answer is deeply personal and varies widely. Many people love sharing their bed with their dogs, while others prefer not to—sometimes without knowing how to gently discourage their dogs from taking over the bed.
Addressing Common Concerns
Some hesitation about letting dogs sleep on the bed stems from outdated notions about dominance and “alpha” behavior. The idea that allowing a dog to sleep on higher ground gives them a dominant position has little evidence to support it. Instead, we should evaluate the situation by asking practical questions:
- Can the person move the dog off the bed without resistance, such as growling or snapping?
- Does the dog prevent other pets from sleeping on the bed?
If these issues arise, the concern is less about dominance and more about resource guarding, a natural but potentially dangerous behavior in dogs.
Understanding Resource Guarding
Dogs instinctively protect what they value, and a warm, cozy bed can become a prized resource. If a dog growls, sneers, or even bites to maintain control of the bed, sharing the bed might not be the best option. I’ve worked with clients whose dogs would even block one partner from getting into bed! In such cases, management and training are essential.
Practical Solutions
- Close the Bedroom Door: The simplest solution is to prevent the dog from accessing the bed altogether by keeping the bedroom off-limits.
- Teach an “Off” Cue: Make getting off the bed a fun and rewarding game. When the dog jumps off the bed on cue, reward them generously. If they jump back on, calmly repeat the process. Over time, the dog learns to stay off the bed.
- Address Resource Guarding: If the dog guards the bed, work with a professional trainer to address this behavior safely and effectively.
When Partners Disagree
A common dilemma arises when one person wants the dog in bed, and the other does not. This situation often reflects differing expectations rather than differing levels of love for the dog. Open communication and compromise are key to resolving such conflicts.
Final Thoughts
If you and your dog enjoy sharing a bed without issues, there’s no reason to stop. The notion that dogs will become “alpha” from sleeping on the bed is a myth. However, if your dog shows any signs of resource guarding or if bed-sharing creates tension in your household, it’s worth exploring alternative solutions.
Remember, the goal is to foster a harmonious relationship with your dog while ensuring everyone’s comfort and safety.